The rage bubbled up. She turned her? Zoey? And Beth? Lesbian??!?"What the fuck!?" I yelled out during cross-examination of a character witness from the bookstore. I stood, turning my body toward the crowd and shooting daggers at Beth and Zoey. "You FUCKING BITCH!!!!" I screamed, uncontrolled, making a motion like I was going to rush them.Instead, I collapsed. Screaming, my head in my hands. UncontrolledI was helpless.I was on my knees, screaming, almost convulsing, in the fucking courtroom. They sent cops out to get me. Straight jacket. Padded room. Suicide watch. The whole fucking deal.Zoey was with Beth? They were girlfriends? Probably fucking? She stole everything from me, and now she stole the life I was supposed to have!? THE BITCH!!!!My public defender didn't like that I offered no explanation of the rape. I didn't tell him about the teasing. Or the time with she and Jon down at the river. All I said was that my relationship with Beth was consensual. But that was all.Regarding. I called Vonnie the very next day and made a dinner date with her for that evening. From then on we were inseparable. At the end of our sixth date Vonnie said, "Do I scare you?" No, I don't think so, why?" You asked around about me so I know that you know that I'm not a virgin and yet here we are at the end of our sixth date and you haven't even tried to cop a feel of my breast. The so-called woman of your dreams doesn't turn you on?"I was silent for a moment and then I said, "You have pretty straight with me about your past so I guess I can be honest with you about this. Yes, I am scared; not of you, but of the outcome of my trying to have sex with you." Good grief honey, why?" I'm afraid to find out that I don't measure up and that you will be disappointed and that I'll never see you again." I don't follow." You know, what they say about blacks and the size of their genitals."I don't know what I expected from Vonnie, but it sure wasn't the ripping roaring belly laugh that I got..
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